Step to the dark
by Smoochy
Summary: 22-year old Hermione is sent back to 1977 and has to become a DADA teacher for some time. It's the story of love and hate, loyalty and betrayal, friendship and enmity and the choices we have to make. SBxHGxRL
1. Radical changes

**Step ****to the dark.**

**By Smoochy.**

Well hello, my dear readers!

I've been wanting to write a time travel fic for a long time now and finally I decided to start doing it, but, really, I have three unfinished stories hanging on me and God knows I wish I could finish them but… oh well. I think I need some changes now, so here's the story. :D

So, the story will be Remus x Hermione x Sirius triangle and it doesn't mean she will be sleeping with both of them at the same time, it means there will be lots of drama and angst and all the other heart wrenching stuff we all like. Which one of them she'll choose in the end I'm not telling you for the sake of keeping the plot more interesting, so don't look at the story pairing above, it doesn't mean anything. I do hope this particular story won't be a typical time travel story and I try my best to make it more interesting and unique so Hermione won't be one of the students but an actual teacher. I know there's already a lot of similar stuff, but it's still fun for me to write so you might as well enjoy reading it :)

And the last – English IS NOT my native languages so please bear with me and all of my grammar and punctuation mistakes, I don't have a beta yet, but I do hope I'll find one some time in nearest future, so if there's anyone interested in beta'ing – please, say so in comments or PM.

That's all now, don't worry – next A/N will be way shorter :D

**Title**: Step to the dark

**Author**: Smoochy

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything you recognize from J. Rowling's books

**Pairing**: Sirius/Hermione/Remus

**Summary**: 22-year old Hermione is sent back to 1977 and has to become a DADA teacher for some time. It's the story of love and hate, loyalty and betrayal, friendship and enmity and the choices we have to make. SBxHGxRL

_**Chapter 1. Radical Changes.**_

"Ron, you do remember you promised to take me to the theatre, do you?" Hermione questioned her husband, who was sprawled on the coach, reading.

"Weeell" Ron drawled and grimaced, glancing at her over the _Daily Prophet_, his tone making it extremely clear what exactly he thinks of the idea. "If you want it so much…" he trailed off uncertainly, his gaze returning to the newspaper once again.

Turning his back to him and facing the window, Hermione stopped washing the dishes and froze, for a brief moment closing her stinging eyes and hanging her head. Suddenly, there was a lump in her throat and her breathing became fast and shallow. She sighed deeply, her hands covering her face and pressing hard on her eyes until she saw stars but it still didn't prevent the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. Distantly, she wondered how she had got to that point in her life.

She was twenty-two. She was young, smart and ambitious. When she was fifteen she decided to make a plan for her life and wrote a list of things she'd like to do at the exact age, like marrying at twenty-five to the man she truly loved with all her heart and who loved her back just the same, or having a first child at twenty-six, once she's steady and stable in her life and after a year or two she'd have the second child. Now, she smirked bitterly at the foolishness of the whole idea. Right they say that if you want to make God laugh - tell him about your plans. She did understand that statement in all its sad irony now.

She married Ron when she was seventeen, right after they graduated, and not because Hermione felt undying love for the red-head but because they were afraid they wouldn't have time in their forlorn future, wouldn't have time later because the war was going on and people kept dying, man after man, and after the day Harry died it all lost sense.

They did win the war, though. Voldemort did die, once and for all. But so did Harry, Dumbledore, Neville, Luna, Lupin, Tonks, Molly, Arthur, Bill and Percy and the twins and another half hundred people Hermione loved and cared for.

Isn't it funny that people consider her, Ron and Ginny to be the lucky ones who made it through the Great War II?

Indeed, the war was over. But she lost too much to really appreciate it and live an actual life.

They say traumas like that don't go away without leaving a trace. People with such traumas rarely live a normal life after them.

But nevertheless, Hermione tried her best to leave the past behind. She found herself a job in the Ministry - an Auror along with Ginny; she bought an apartment so she and Ron would be able to start a new life in the new place.

And here she was, living quite a pointless life with an indifferent husband like a dead weight on her shoulders, with a work implying tons of papers which needed to be filled and once in three-four months a Death Eater insurrection which needed to be put down.

In desperate attempts to vary her disgustingly boring dim life she attempted such arrangements for Ron and Ginny as going to the muggle theatre or cinema or somewhere else to relax and have fun. Usually it took her quite a time to shake Ron or Ginny up, to break their wall which they so happily built around themselves and until today Hermione – with great effort, yes, but still – succeeded in that.

Today it infuriated her within an inch of her life. Suddenly she felt like lying on the floor and crying, hard and loudly, until all the tears and strength left her. She shook her head violently and bit her lip hard enough to draw blood there immediately.

"You know what, Ronald" she hissed, narrowing her eyes and shaking an accusing finger at her husband who merely stared at her with confusion on his face. "I've had enough of this! I can't be that way anymore!" She didn't notice her voice raise an octave higher as she suddenly felt the lack of oxygen in her lungs. "You can sit in that shell of yours all you want and do whatever you want! You want to spend each of your free minute on that bloody coach until you've developed a spine disease – go ahead! I've had enough!" She repeated, slamming her fist on the kitchen counter for emphasis.

Ron looked dumbfounded. "Look, Hermione, calm down –" He began, raising a finger but she didn't want to hear. Fuming, she crossed the room hurriedly, grabbing her coat, and left their small apartment, closing the door quietly after herself as she believed that slamming was left for some drama queens from the cheap soap shows.

She's had enough of Ron's unwillingness to actually do something, to try and make things better and God knows she did all her best. Something just broke in her today. Probably another stupid hope that they would get back to the way things were.

But, sadly enough, there was no going back.

This she knew for sure. And what she also knew rather well was that she did need some changes. Radical changes. She didn't want them, she _needed_ them, for the sake of her sanity, otherwise, she was pretty sure, she'd end up in St Mungo's department for lunatics.

She walked along the streets of London, not really seeing where she was going, just away from Ron, absentmindedly rubbing her Auror bracelet on her left hand. God, how much tired she was!

She shuddered and wrapped herself tighter in her coat as the cold wind blew in her face. Despite of the fact that it was the middle of June the weather was truly cold even for London. Somehow she remembered hearing that the whole week was to be rather rainy and moody. And, by the way, what day was it? Tuesday or Wednesday?

Hermione stopped abruptly as she looked up and saw the familiar place she wasn't really heading to but ended up anyway: Leaky Cauldron. Looking around nervously, feeling like she was about to do something illegal, Hermione entered the pub.

Everything was exactly the same as she remembered it to be last time she was in here almost four years ago. She didn't really have a necessity to visit this place so she chose to ignore it, and now, seeing the people around, smelling the usual for the place smell of cinnamon, old paper and magic she felt somewhat nostalgic, like she was watching an album with old photographs, where all her friends were still alive and no war was going on. She swallowed the bile in her mouth and rubbed her eyes one more time. They were wet and but tears just didn't fall.

She wouldn't think about that, not now and, preferably, not ever.

She began to make her way to one of the tables when suddenly there was a flash of light to her left and turning around, Hermione saw a shining form of a dog, a Patronus, she guessed, which appeared right in front of a middle-aged woman with short curly hair, sitting by the table and slowly sipping whatever drink she had in her cup. Patronus opened its mouth and spoke with a voice of a rather panicked man.

"Charlotte, there's a Death Eater attack in Hogsmeade! Maggie is one of the kids!! Get there AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, will be needed _any help_!!"

Two seconds later, Hermione's bracelet burned her hand, catching her completely off-guard. The pub, rather quite just a moment ago, was now a mess of people, running around and shouting, trying to outvoice each other and inform anybody around that _their children_ were in Hogsmeade at the moment.

It took Hermione few more seconds to shook herself out of shock and begin moving. Dear God! Not Hogsmeade again, not _children_! Please, let her be in time, please, she has to stop that, _now_!

She ran to the fireplace with as much speed as she could manage but to her immense irritation which bordered with rage Hermione found no floo powder. She cursed loudly, looking around quickly, trying to see anything that looked like powder, furious about having to waste her time on such things as that when she had to get to Hogwarts _right now_, because each second can coast a life to a child –

Finally, and rather suddenly, there was a pot with floo powder right under her nose and Hermione noticed a hand that was shoving the thing to her face. She turned to the side quickly, trying to see a man who was helping her but the person was wearing a hood which completely covered his face and any other day Hermione would get suspicious of such a figure walking around the streets like that but now she didn't have any time so she just grabbed the handful of the powder without a word. The powder was unusually dark, almost black, too black for a powder which supposed to be grey but Hermione didn't pay attention to it anyway, she just threw the powder to a fireplace shouting the words 'Hogwarts, headmaster's office' and distantly thinking about the only safe times at the school she stepped into the emerald flames, not looking back once.

The fact that Hermione didn't specify anything about the Hogwarts floo network condition occurred to her somewhere in the middle of the flight. After all, the headmistress could not have the time to open the fireplace yet and then Hermione would waste another load of time she was supposed to spend fighting Death Eaters.

It all came to her in that split second when her body was transformed to thousand miles away and Hermione didn't really have the time just to worry enough about the problem.

However, she didn't have to. The next moment she was threw out of the fireplace, sending the powder flying in all directions and nearly falling off her feet. Some of it even managed to get Hermione in the mouth, making her cough violently, tears appearing in her eyes. Once she recovered, she allowed herself to look around hurriedly and one glance was enough to understand she was in Dumbledore's office, after all, McGonagall hasn't changed anything here since the old wizard's death.

"Come on, do sit down, Miss, you must be a candidate for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, am I right?" Hermione heard a familiar voice to her right and turned to see Professor McGonagall looking at her with an expectant expression on her face.

Hermione frowned. "Professor McGonagall, sorry I'm late, I need to get to Hogsmeade now, did the other Aurors get there already?" She asked hastily, pulling out her wand and squeezing it hard in her hand. McGonagall now wore a clearly confused expression.

"Hogsmeade? Aurors? I'm sorry, and you would be…?" She asked Hermione in a rather cool voice, looking at her with a studying look.

Hermione stared. What was going on here? Was something wrong with her appearance that professor didn't recognize her? And what about the DADA teacher position? Hermione looked down at herself nervously but everything seemed to be alright except for the few powder stains on her coat. What was going on then, she silently questioned once again.

"Professor, don't you recognize me?" Hermione said slowly and cautiously, now really dreading the answer. She swallowed, watching the old lady furrowed her brow even more.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe I know you, Miss…" She said dryly, her tone encouraging Hermione to fill in her name.

She kept silent, too confused to say anything. The professor now seemed rather uncomfortable.

"Look, Miss, if you are here not to discuss the open vacation, I believe professor Dumbledore might help you. He'll be here in a moment"

Now Hermione felt her jaw dropped but she couldn't really do anything about that. Was she hearing things or did McGonagall just say 'Dumbledore'? What was bloody going on in here?! Why has McGonagall just mentioned far long dead Headmaster in a way as if he was alive?! Why was –

"Good morning, Minerva" said a too familiar voice behind her and Hermione knew its owner without having to turn around.

_Dumbledore_.

She froze, the hair on her arms standing up with goose bumps and a clot appearing in her throat. "Or should I say evening? Time flies incredibly fast, my dear, seems like only five minutes ago I walked down for breakfast to the Great Hall and it's already getting dark outside"

His voice hasn't changed at all. Same pleasant, kind voice of an old man, filled with humor and knowing and those barely tangible sparkles. The voice that can belong only to Dumbledore.

_But it's not possible! He's dead, for five years now, we all know he's dead! He can't be here now, __after all these years I've been thinking he's dead… he simply __**can't!**_

But Hermione didn't listen to what her mind was screaming to her. Slowly, as all her limbs suddenly went numb with shock, fear and at the same time hope and joy at seeing the wizard again, she turned around.

And there he was. Tall and lean, his white silver beard long enough to reach his knees, the same half-mooned spectacles and brilliant blue eyes with dancing twinkles in them. Real Dumbledore.

_Alive_ Dumbledore.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat, desperately trying to hold back the tears that already gathered in the corners of her eyes, and her heart skipped several beats before pounding painfully in her chest, her breathing suddenly getting shallow and unsteady. Apparently, her emotions displayed on her face because Dumbledore said politely "Can you, please, leave us for a while, Minnie?"

McGonagall didn't seem too pleased but she nodded nonetheless and hastily walked out of the office. Hermione was left alone with the suddenly-back-from-dead former headmaster.

"Now, my dear lady, I believe you should tell me your name?" Dumbledore finally said after the long silence.

Hermione exhaled loudly. "Professor… It's me… Hermione… Hermione Granger" she stammered faintly, now really wondering if it all was some kind of a weird dream.

Dumbledore, meanwhile, walked to his table and sat in his throne-looking chair.

"Don't you… Don't you recognize me?" She asked him wearily, sick of not understanding what the hell was going on around her.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but I don't believe we've ever met before" the old wizard said, looking at Hermione over his glasses. "Lemon drop?" he offered, throwing one in his mouth and holding to her a vase of drops.

She shook her head absent-mindedly. Why couldn't he recognize her? Why was he alive at the first place?! Has she gone mad? Was she seeing things?

God, she needed to calm down.

Dazed, she nearly fell into the chair opposite Dumbledore, her heart still racing in her chest. And then her gaze shifted to the folded _Daily Prophet _copy lying on the table. But, something caught her attention to it, something wrong –

'_Minister Forman declared…'_

Minister Forman?! But Alexy Forman was the minister of magic way long before the Fudge, almost thirty years ago –

Her eyes drifted to the date on the top of the page.

'_Daily Prophet,__ copy of 08.16.77'_

Oh God…

She stared at the Headmaster as it all suddenly made perfect sense – that they didn't recognize her, alive Dumbledore, Minister Forman… Dumbledore by no means could know her. Because in this time she wasn't born yet.

Because, if she was not mistaken, it was the sixteenth of August, year 1977.

She stared right in Dumbledore's eyes and suddenly she felt his presence in her consciousness, the power of his Legilimens skills breaking all of her protection walls at once. Though, he had to give her that, she was way too shocked and stunned by her latest realization to set up a real block. So she simply didn't hesitate and let him seek in her memories and thoughts, after all, it would save her a lot of time explaining…

She saw fragments of her own memories flashing before her eyes, faces of Harry, Ron, her parents, Weasley family and another people she knew, muffled voices in her ears that went with the memories.

'_Hermione, keep that damn cat away from Scubbers!-'_

'_Dumbledore's dead. Snape killed him'_

'_It's Death Eaters! They attacked Hogwarts-'_

'_**Imperio'**_

No!

Dumbledore left her mind sharply and Hermione found herself trembling in the chair as the most dreadful, painful memory overcame her. Memory she wished so dearly she could just erase as it was killing her slowly, day after day, turning her inside out, and cutting her to shreds with guilt and pain. The memory she couldn't escape from no matter how hard she tried.

"Well, I see now, my dear" Dumbledore sighed heavily in from of her, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his crooked nose. "Not quiet the future I hoped it to be"

Hermione kept silent, the memory she just saw still too vivid in her mind. She breathed in and out slowly, calming herself down. She didn't need to fall into hysterics now, what she did need was to collect herself and find a way out of the current problem with the help of Dumbledore, so she furiously wiped away the tears and concentrated on the man across the table.

"Rather ticklish situation we got here, Miss Granger" he sighed again, his voice sounding sad and tired. "And I daresay dangerous" He looked her in the eyes with his penetrating stare of electric blue eyes.

"Sir, do you know a way to get me back to my time?" Hermione asked, regaining her composure and straightening herself in the chair.

"I'm afraid, my girl" Dumbledore sighed once again, suddenly looking very old, much older than only seconds ago. "That your future might not exist anymore"

Hermione felt her face go pale. Of course. What else could she expect? Things just wouldn't work for her anymore, not ever again, not after –

"See" Dumbledore interrupted her chaotic thoughts "As you may already know, there're two main theories about Time" he began, his voice now sounding a little firmer. "The first one is short and simple: what happened – _happened_. What already happened was meant to be, so we don't really have to worry about doing something wrong because we've already done it" the corners of his lips twitched upwards. "This theory presumes that everything was meant to happen, so we can't really change anything as much as we'd like to"

"So it would mean that whatever I do or say can't really change anything because it was already done or said?" Hermione asked, biting her lower lip in concentration, because this was not her listening to the McGonagall giving her instructions about the Timeturner. This was real problem which needed to be solved as soon as possible, no matter how much she liked to see the dead headmaster again.

"Yes and no" he answered evasively. "Yes, according to the first theory and no, according to the second one" He paused again to take one more lemon drop in his mouth. Hermione waited patiently for continuation. "So here we have the second theory of Time, Miss Granger. Actually, it goes after our precious Ray Bradbury; I suppose you've heard of this man?" He questioned her. Hermione nodded and he continued. "It was not exactly his theory, but his certain story does explain it best of all – 'A sound of a thunder' it's called"

She knew, of course, this story – she read it at the age of thirteen and was really impressed by it for some reason. Something there, the way Bradbury wrote it, got to her heart, making her feel mixed emotions – fear, excitement, anticipation. She read the story the summer after her second year at Hogwarts.

A month later McGonagall gave her a Timeturner.

"As you can remember" the wizard continued after a small pause "the main character was sent back in time to the epoch of dinosaurs and he accidently stepped on a butterfly and killed it. Then he got back to his time only to find his world absolutely altered and all this changes caused such an insignificant, as it seems, thing as a butterfly" Dumbledore kept silent for emphasis, once again shooting her the soul penetrating look. "And therefore, I must say, my dear girl, that according to this idea, your presence here itself has already changed your whole future" he finished quietly.

Hermione covered her face with her hands wearily.

"And which one of these theories is the true one?" she rasped.

"Unfortunately, there's no way of knowing it" Dumbledore said with a sad smile and Hermione shifted uneasily.

"So what do you suggest, professor?" She asked him faintly, suddenly feeling like ducking her head on the table and just falling asleep there, preferably forever.

"I, of course, will research the way – _any_ way – to return you back to your own time, but you do need to tell me first what you remember last before you ended up here"

Hermione told him in detail about the last several minutes in London, excluding her fight with Ron, of course. She did, though, make an accent on the strange man with the strange black floo powder which apparently sent her twenty six years to the past.

"Hmm" Dumbledore mused thoughtfully, rubbing his beard offhandedly "Naturally, naturally…" he muttered, closing his eyes as if trying to remember something. Hermione frowned, as Dumbledore obviously knew something useful. "Time Dust" he finally said, opening his eyes and staring at her with his piercing gaze.

"But, professor! This thing is really rare, almost impossible to find for the last… fifty years or so!" Hermione exclaimed, frowning, as she wondered where the hooded stranger could possibly get the Dust.

"Yes, my dear, you are very right" Dumbledore agreed, nodding slightly. "As you probably know, more than thirty years ago witches and wizards used the Time Dust to get through the time as it allowed traveling through rather long periods of time with no limits. Our usual Timeturner can't get you back for more than twenty four hours and you are forced to live that time again, while the Dust is able to get you in the future as well. However, this thing was proclaimed to be illegal thirty years ago" the wizard sighed heavily and a sad smile twitched his lips. "People were always too eager to control everything. But tell me, Miss Granger, if a man can't control his own life how can he possibly control something as twisted and dangerous as Time? Of course, the Dust wasn't completely erased. There still were such desperate people who were ready to offer anything in exchange for a handful of it, however with years passing by it was becoming more and more difficult to find someone who still possessed it. Nowadays there're only few people who can offer you this artifact" He paused meaningfully, still chewing on his candy. "And one of them is me" he finished quietly.

Hermione knew he was leading to this. Of course. How could he not have it? He's the great Albus Dumbledore, after all, he had everything and knew everything.

At least, she wanted to believe so.

But could it mean that somehow it was him who had given her the Dust in the Leaky Cauldron several minutes ago (or, more correctly, twenty six years in the future)? Could it somehow be that Dumbledore himself had gone through time to send her back to the beginning?

But _this_ Dumbledore hasn't done it.

Yet.

He seemed to have read her mind or, apparently, her thoughts displayed on her face because he said "I know what you might be thinking, Miss Granger, and it only makes our situation more complicated, unfortunately"

"So what can I do to help you, sir?" Hermione asked hesitantly, eager to do anything to hasten the process. Dumbledore smiled warmly.

"Why, you can make research in the library, of course" He said, taking another candy in his mouth and Hermione began to wonder how he could possibly live to such an age with that level of sugar in his blood. "And you haven't told me yet from what year exactly did you come, my dear"

"2003. I'm twenty-two" Hermione answered honestly and Dumbledore seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"We can do this: you'll be staying in Hogwarts for now, using the library and not worrying about a place to stay. But if you're not returned to your time until September then I suggest you stay here as a teacher"

He said it with his knowing voice, twinkles back in his eyes, and his tone made it absolutely clear that all of it was already decided without her participation.

She should've been exasperated, but, really, how could she if he was _alive_?

So she just nodded.

"Do you… Do you want to know anything else?" She asked him quietly, her voice sounding too painful even to her own ears. He shook his head.

"What I've seen is enough" he said softly. "I'm only disappointed that everything turned out as I was dreading it would"

For some reason (and she knew the reason deep inside) she felt incredibly guilty. For not vindicating his expectations. For failing him. Failing everybody.

It was all her fault.

Neville and Luna.

Only her fault.

She should be dead instead of them.

She got up abruptly and shook her head violently, forcing herself not to think about it, trying to will these thoughts and memories away from her mind. Dumbledore, across the table, was eyeing her sadly.

"I believe you have enough of experience, my dear, to teach those students everything they need to know, am I right?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes stinging and her heart beating painfully in her ears.

"I hope so" She tried to say but her voice came out rather like a whisper and she cleared her throat loudly and repeated in a more steady voice "I hope so, professor"

"Wonderful then!" Dumbledore exclaimed joyfully, clapping his hands excitedly and the image of a wise aged man was washed away immediately. "I should inform Minerva then that we have our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!"

"But it would be so only in case we won't find the way to get me back to my world, and that will be two weeks" Hermione reminded him weakly, having a very strong presentiment that she won't be back anytime soon. She sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"I believe, you should have a rest now, Professor Granger" Dumbledore grinned at her, winking and she suppressed a giggle. She blamed her tiredness. "Minerva will show you your apartment"

She nodded and headed to the door. Bloody time travel. It was the middle of June in her time, now she missed all the July as well, appearing here in the middle of bloody August!

She didn't even have strength to be surprised at her own language. Again, she blamed her tiredness.

And only when she was at the door already, the realization hit her. It was 1977. She completely forgot about –

"Marauders will be in their seventh year, right?" she asked, a bit panicked at the prospect of teaching Harry's father and mother, along with Harry's Godfather-convict Sirius Black, her ex-professor-werewolf Remus Lupin and rat-traitor Peter Pettigrew. And, oh dear god…

She will see Sirius and Lupin again.

And they will be young, chaste and _alive_. They all will be alive.

The thought itself made her stomach jump. Heaven help her, how will she handle this? How will she see them, talk to them, knowing that once she'd be back to future, none of them will be there? It will be like she'd loose them once again.

"Yes, my girl, they will. Is it a problem for you?" he asked her gently.

She thought about it. She will get a chance to know them, really know them, to see them young and healthy and joyful, not burdened with upcoming war and deaths of their friends…

_To once have and loose is better than not having at all._

Oh well. Merlin will help her.

"No" She said firmly. "No, that won't be a problem"

"Good!" Dumbledore smiled once again. "Very good, my dear!"

"Professor, what about my appearance? I believe I should make some differences, shouldn't I?"

"You are indeed right" the headmaster agreed. "I'll tell only Minerva about our little predicament, so you won't need to avoid her. And we need to think about a good distant place where you came from so no one too curious will be able to make a proper research about you"

She thought for a moment, recalling any appropriate place. "How about Russia?" She suggested with a smile, flicking her fingers for emphasis. "Remote enough, we can say that I had to live there for a long time and had my Auror training there. God knows those people do train hard" She added, remembering herself reading about Russian Ministry system.

"And your name will be…?" Dumbledore encouraged her to think of the alias.

"Hmm" She paused, biting her lip thoughtfully. Her first name will be Jane, slightly altered version of her middle name 'Jean' and as for the last name…

"Jane Depp" She smirked, unable to resist. What could she say – she liked that Pirates movie with this actor she watched with Ron and Ginny this year. But it was proper, right? He was Muggle so no one would know his name here and it was seventies, he wasn't even popular yet. And if you say Jenny Depp it would sound almost like Johnn –

"That's settled then" Dumbledore interrupted her thoughts, nodding. "As to your appearance: your most discriminating trait is your hair, so you should change its color and style, then change your eyes color and may be do some insignificant changes with your whole face traits – sharpen them or vice versa, as you'd like"

She nodded and yawned suddenly, noticing that it has already darkened outside. Dumbledore smiled reassuringly at her.

"Everything will be all right" he said softly, and oh how she wanted to believe it. Then he added archly "Good night… Professor Depp"

She smiled through another yawn. _Professor Depp._ Jane Depp.

Oh well.

She needed radical changes, right? That certainly could be called changes.

And they certainly could be called radical.

Well, that's the first chapter. I worked my ass with this one but I think next ones will be much easier to write but anyway, please, do leave a review about what you think of this.

Can't promise anything about the regular updates but if you give me a feedback I'll try to post somewhere next week ;D

Love, Smoochy.


	2. New

**My note: **I'd like to say that I'm really not sure whether I should continue this story. I mean, I posted the first chapter a year ago and just now I had sudden inspiration. So I can't promise anything, guess it's all up to your reviews, guys :D

**My other note:** If you have any questions concerning the story, feel free to point it out in review or elsewhere and I'll be happy to clear it out.

**My other other note:** English isn't my first language and even though I work my ass to make it seem so, I'm still in need of a beta. So if anyone's interested, do let me know, please.

**Chapter 2.**

**New.**

It wasn't easy for Hermione to find herself back in Hogwarts again, but it certainly was pleasant. Seeing all the places she once called her home, so loved and cared for was somewhat bittersweet. She hadn't been in Hogwarts seen the day Harry died; it was too hard for her. But now – now it was different. No one has died in this time yet, no one she knew or loved. So for as long as it lasted, she was going to enjoy it as much as she could.

Apart from spending almost all of her time in the library, searching (in vain, unfortunately) for a solution of her current problem, she liked to walk around the castle, remembering the time she walked around the same places when she was a student herself.

The time she used to be happy.

But as the days kept passing and nearing the 1st of September Hermione began to prepare herself for what she'll have to face: the Marauders – young and alive.

Nearing the end of August, the books about Time travel she took from the library slowly began to be replaced for the manuals on teaching the 7th year students, and the text-books on Dark Art and protection from it. As much as she hated to admit it, she realized she might have to stay in this time for much longer than she expected.

Dumbledore had kindly given her the reports of each year of DADA courses for the past six years and Hermione was absolutely shocked. Obviously, the curse of DADA teachers was in effect, seeing as how the students had had a different teacher each yeah, and more to that, not every one of them was qualified enough. To her surprise she found out that three years ago Dumbledore actually hired a Vampire who was in no condition to attend every lesson so they didn't learn half of the course they were supposed to know, including Boggarts!

On the Marauders' fourth year the teacher was apparently so incompetent that the students didn't learn anything at all – the report of 4thyear exams was evidence of it – almost 90 percent of students failed.

On the fifth year some professor called Brow died in the middle of the yeah, which was not so surprising seeing that he was 115-years-old, and that was old even by wizards' standards. Dumbledore didn't have time to find him a decent replacement so the students missed the rest of the DADA course again.

And last year they had several teachers. The first one – a woman in her forties resigned in October, complaining on her poor health. Fortunately, Dumbledore was ready for that, so he found a replacement in no time. But that turned out to be an old boring man, much like Professor Binns, so Dumbledore had to replace him again. The third professor appeared in the middle of February, a man in his early thirties, with newly found passion for young boys. He had taught in Hogwarts for three weeks before he was sent to Azkaban. The last one was a man about sixty who was not bad, nor excellent. He stayed in Hogwarts till the end of the year, and then left for America where he was originally from.

And all that led to Hermione, a 22-year-old woman, with nothing for experience but a war against Voldemort, and it was on her to teach the seventh-year students all of what they missed in their previous years, before they graduate and step in real life. And she couldn't let them begin their lives outside of school with them not knowing how to destroy a Boggart, could she?

Hermione sighed heavily. There were five days left till the day when the quiet peaceful castle will be full of screaming running fidgety children.

They will be really hard five days.

"Hey! Sirius! James! Over here!" Remus shouted as loudly as he could, waving to his friends he spotted few feet away from him on the King Cross station. His friends saw him too and were now making their way through the crowd, grinning like idiots. Remus suspected he might have the same grin on his face, too.

"Remus, buddy!" Sirius exclaimed, hugging Remus tightly. James followed soon after. "Long time no see! Have you finally picked up a chick, you old virgin?"

"I missed you, too, Sirius!" Remus said sarcastically. "Have you finally learnt what a 'book' means?" he shot back with a smile.

"Ooh, I certainly did not miss _that_!" Sirius laughed. "And I'm too pretty for stuff like books, anyway, you know it."

"How were your holidays?" James cut in before Remus had time to answer.

"Can't say that very good, but, alright, I guess" he said, not wanting to go into details about his Mom getting more and more ill. He gave out a small sigh. "And what about you two?"

"Well, I stayed at Bambi's as you know" Sirius smirked, throwing a hand over James' shoulders.

"Bambi's?" Remus repeated, amused, wondering if he'd heard right.

"Yup! New nickname for that brat! 'Prongs' has gotten old" Sirius said, looking at his best friend fondly. "Jamie boy has this amazing little box called VT -"

"TV" James corrected him automatically.

"—that shows this hilarious stuff and we happen to watch this catroon one night -"

"It's cartoon" James cut in again, but Sirius ignored him.

"—About this baby-deer who later becomes a super-awesome-deer and saves the day, so I decided our Jamie should really pay that deer-hero some respect." Sirius finished.

"That's… interesting" Remus laughed, unable to find a word for Sirius' story.

"Sorry, Moonikins, mate, but no new name for you yet. Maybe I'll get to see another cartoon thingie or what not someday, so don't you worry" he winked.

"Oh thank you, Sirius, I did worry so much!" Remus teased him and got a playful punch in the shoulder. They all laughed again, happy to see each other finally, and then James wondered.

"Anyone seen Peter? He must be somewhere around"

'Oh right, Peter!' Remus remembered about his other friend. Frankly, Peter had been acting rather strange ever since the Easter holidays last year, and even though everyone noticed it, they still hadn't talked about it. Peter just seemed… off. Different. And not in a good way.

Remus shook his head slightly to get rid of those thoughts – they won't lead to anything good, anyway. Instead, he and his friends went to find Peter.

It didn't take them too long. Peter was standing away from the crowd with Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lastrange for company, whispering something to them very quickly.

Remus frowned. Now that was strange. Since when has Peter started to talk to Slytherines? He looked at his friends, who were confused, too, judging by their faces.

"Pete? This scum bothering you?" Sirius shouted loudly enough for several people to turn around at the sound. Peter almost jumped at his voice, his eyes shifting back and forth quickly from Slytherines to his friends.

"No, no, Sirius, it's nothing, really!" Peter finally said, making his way to his friends, leaving two Slytherines glare a hole in his back.

He hasn't grown an inch during summer, Remus noticed when Peter approached them and was now barely reaching Remus' and Sirius' shoulders. They were always the tallest ones, James a bit smaller and skinnier, and Peter has always been short and lanky. Not too short but he still looked funny near him or Sirius, but that could be because they were just tall.

"What did they want from you?" Remus asked Peter, still frowning slightly as they made their way into the train, searching for a free compartment.

"Oh, it was nothing, really!" Peter said quickly, too quickly for Remus' taste. He immediately sensed a lie. He turned to look at Peter's frightened pleading eyes and decided to drop it for now.

"You sure?" Sirius said in a rather annoying condescending tone. Peter nodded.

"As you say, then" James shrugged.

They were just passing a compartment with Gryffindor seven-year girls with Lily among them. James stopped suddenly, making Remus bump into him, and looked through the small window in the door. Lily saw him, too, and as their eyes met her face took a blank expression but there was no hate in it that James was so use to.

"Awww, isn't it sweet, Bambi? _Finally_ some progress!" Sirius smirked, also looking through the window. "At least she doesn't want to rip you in pieces now!"

"Yeah, James, that's kind of… reassuring" Remus smiled, tapping his friend on the shoulder.

"That's something" Peter added, a smile on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Right!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing a finger at Peter. "Listen to Wormy there! He's an expert, after all!"

Peter just rolled his eyes and entered a free compartment they found. They all plopped down on the seat.

"Maybe she _will_ be your girlfriend this year, after all?" Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Maybe" James said, desperately trying to sound indifferent. Remus smirked.

"Yeah, really" Sirius continued. "I think it's high time she stopped playing hard-to-get and agreed to go out with you!"

"Maybe" James said again, his face a bit flushed.

"And you Remus? How long are you going to wait before you get yourself a chick? Or you plan on dying a virgin?"

"Oh right, I absolutely forgot that I'm about to die in my elderly age of seventeen" Remus snorted. "And besides, Jamie doesn't have a lot of experience in this, either!"

"HEY!" James exclaimed, apparently offended. "I've had two girlfriends!"

"Well, that's only two more than I've had" Remus said, smirking. Sirius laughed.

"Then I have had about a billion more than either of you!"

"You flatter yourself, Sirius" Peter snorted.

"Yeah, I guess the reason you've had so many is that they all quickly get disappointed in your lack of…"

"Anyway!" Remus interrupted before the conversation took a dangerous way. "Anyone heard anything about the new DADA teacher?"

"Oh my Dad actually did!" James said, forgetting the argument at once.

"So? Who is it?" Sirius encouraged.

"He said it is a woman. Didn't mention the age, though. Dumbledore told him she'd been an Auror and had gone through a lot in her life, so I guess she's pretty old. Dumbledore also said she's very trustworthy."

"Oh well, Dumbledore's definition of 'trustworthy' can mean absolutely different thing than it does to normal people." Remus sniffed. Sure, Dumbledore's smart, brilliant and all that, but, seriously, hire a Vampire? A pedophile? Okay, he might not know about the guy being a pedophile, but a Vampire?

"Yeah, but still, Dad said that Dumbledore talked about her with great respect and that he said he's know her for very long." James added.

"Well, I only hope that whoever she is, she'll be able to teach us what we need to know." Remus said with a sigh.

"Yeah, we don't need another boy-lover" Sirius chuckled. "Imagine that one is, for example… a lesbian?" At others' dubious looks he said: "What? Dumbledore's keen on people like that! Now maybe a lesbian is exactly what our dear old McGonagall craves…"

"Okay. Ew, Sirius. Ew." James snorted.

"Sirius, shut up!" Remus said, laughing. "Now I won't be able to look at McGonagall without imagining those things!"

"You're so much of a perv" Peter said, smirking.

"What? It's just a supposition! 'Highly improbable but not impossible'!"

"Wow" Remus said, surprised at recognizing a line from Sherlock Holmes. "So you could read, after all. And here I thought you were hopeless"

"Don't get your hopes high, Moony" Sirius said, cocking an eyebrow. "The book was just lying there when I needed to use a restroom…"

"Don't go into details, please" James laughed.

The train finally moved. They all kept chatting merrily, before Remus got tired and lay down, silently listening to his friends talking and joking, thinking about this new teacher, his mother, the next night of full moon.

It will fall on September 16th, he remembered.

Well, he had 15 peaceful days until then.

At least, he hoped they will be peaceful.

**A/N: Sooo? What do you think?**


	3. For a moment she could hardly breathe

**My note: **Thanks to everyone of you guys who reviewed, you've no idea how much this means to me. Well, I guess every writer is greatly pleasured when his work is estimated, especially positively. So, here's the new chapter. I have most of the 4th chapter written, it just requires some improvement, but still, I believe you can expect the next part quiet soon.

**My other note:** As I've already mentioned English is not my first language, and I will greatly appreciate if someone would agree to be my beta, seeing as how there're probably load of mistakes in the text, of which I have no idea.

That said, enjoy reading :D

**Chapter 3.**

**For a moment she could hardly breathe****.**

'_Come on, do it, Granger, like an obedient little Mudblood you are'_

'_No…'_

'_Do it!'_

'_No!'_

_Pain. Sharp excruciating pain in her head. God, stop, please, please, make it stop, please…_

'_Kill!'_

_Distantly she realizes her hand is gripping the wand tightly, pointing it somewhere forward, and she knows it's not supposed to, something's awfully wrong._

'_DO IT!'_

'_Please…'_

_**Neville, Luna…**_

_It's all __**your**__ fault, Granger _

_You thought you were so smart, huh?_

_No…_

_**Neville!**_

'_Stop, please…'_

'_**KILL!'**_

'_Avada Kedavra!'_

"_**NO!"**_

Hermione woke up sharply, sitting on her bed, her hand clutching her wand tightly. She exhaled shakily, closing her stinging eyes. Not again, oh God.

She knew that nightmare; she was so used to seeing it by now, at least several times a week. It was the thing she tried so hard to forget, push out of her memory, and she almost succeeded in it in the broad daylight, but then came night and as soon as she closed her eyes that voice rang in her head again. The voice she'd now recognize in a million others'.

Something wet ran down her cheek and she suddenly realized she was crying. She sighed again before wiping her eyes furiously. She must learn how to deal with it. How to live with all that guilt.

She checked the time – it was six in the morning. She might as well go to the library, she won't fall asleep after that again, she already knew it.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she got up and got dressed. Today was the day, she remembered with great excitement. Today the students will come.

That thought had her worried and nervous suddenly no matter how much she had prepared herself for that day. Being a teacher was a great responsibility, after all, besides, she got to teach The Marauders themselves in all their glory.

She winced involuntary. Peter Pettigrew was among them.

She sighed, unable to decide how to treat him. Well, not that she had a choice, right? She had to treat him just like anyone else, after all, he probably hasn't done anything in this time yet.

But he was going to, wasn't he?

Hermione rubbed the bridge of her nose wearily. She had no idea how to deal with that. Having a kind of information she had and being unable to use it… it was hard, to say the least. She only hoped she'll be able to adjust.

Well, at least she decided what kind of a teacher she'll be. Considering that she was rather young to be a professor and only several years older than the seventh-year students, they might not take her seriously. To avoid that, she will have to be severe from the very beginning, not letting them relax at her lessons. After all these students had way more to learn that they were supposed to.

Oh well. If she was going to do it, she might as well do her best.

"Merlin's eggs am I hungry!" Sirius exclaimed, plopping down at the Gryffindor table. Unfortunately, the plates were still empty since Dumbledore hasn't announced anything yet.

Some fifth-year girls sitting on the left from him giggled shooting him playful looks and he smirked, waving at them "Ladies, my pleasure!"

They giggled more, whispering something to each other and with the corner of his eye he saw Remus roll his eyes and snort. Oh well. No wonder Remus still had no girlfriend. He had no charisma. Well, he did, but he was stubbornly refusing to use it. Remus was surprisingly oblivious to the fact that at least half of the female population of Hogwarts would oh-so gladly go out with him. He was not hard on the eyes, smart, witty, kind and nauseatingly polite. Still, Remus stubbornly refused to snap out of his self-destruction 'I-am-a-scary-werewolf' stupor to even consider a possibility of going out with somebody. Sirius snorted.

He leaned to his right to Remus' ear "What are those girls' names?"

Remus looked at him with fake amazement "What? Are you saying you haven't slept with the whole female part of Hogwarts yet? I'm surprised"

"I haven't said that, have I? It's just not necessary to remember all the names, Moony" Sirius smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh no, Sirius! Now you've just crashed my idea of you being a true gentleman!" Remus grinned, shaking his head slightly.

Sirius looked at James who was busy searching for Lily with his eyes. When he did find her, he became absolutely oblivious to the world around him, staring at her with abandon.

Peter, though, was looking at the Slytherin table with an emotion on his face that Sirius couldn't identify. He exchanged looks with frowning Remus, who obviously noticed it, too. They certainly needed to talk about Peter, Sirius thought, his stomach tightening unpleasantly at the thought. Something's going on and whatever it is, it's not good.

He suddenly noticed a black-haired boy at the Slytherin table, with greasy long hair. He immediately felt his chest filling with rage just at seeing Snape. His fists clenched on their own accord and he gritted his teeth.

"Sirius!" Remus quietly warned him, having followed his look. "Don't -"

"I know, I know" Sirius muttered, trying to relax. Just seeing this bloody git put him on edge and he didn't want Snape to have this kind of power over him. Exhaling deeply, he forced himself to turn around, away from Snape.

At this moment the doors of Great Hall opened once again and McGonagall brought in the group of amazed first-years. Then the Sorting Hat was put on the stool, while McGonagall named children in the alphabet order.

"Merlin, I wanna eat!" Sirius exclaimed, though even to his own ears it sounded like a whine. "There're more and more of them each year!" he added pointing at the bunch of kids.

"Don't worry, it will soon be over" Remus said in an awfully condescending tone, smirking. Sirius glared at him.

"By the way, who is it, there?" Peter suddenly said, pointing over at the teacher table. Everybody followed his look, even James snapped out of whatever love-struck stupor he was in.

The seat next to McGonagall's empty chair was taken by a young woman in her early twenties. She had shoulder-long wavy hair and pleasant face as far as Sirius could see from his place. He looked at his friends who were just as confused as he was.

"Who's she?" James asked no one in particular.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, use your brain if you had any! Who may she be? The new DADA teacher, of course!"

"But you said she was old!" Sirius said, frowning.

"No, _you_ assumed she was old, because Dumbledore mentioned she had gone through a lot. Well, obviously, she's not that old." Remus said in his best lecture-tone. "And I highly doubt she's competent enough" he added bitterly.

"What is she, twenty?" Peter said, looking at the woman closely, his expression one of contempt.

"Early twenties, I believe" James said. "How could Dumbledore possibly known her for a long time? She must have graduated just several years ago!"

"Hmm. I don't think I remember seeing her at Hogwarts" Sirius said, trying to recall seeing this face when he was about eleven years old.

"She must have graduated some other school" Remus said with calculating look in his face. "Maybe she's American or Canadian"

"Well, we should wait to hear her speak and listen to her accent" James suggested.

Just then the Sorting was finished. Surprisingly, about sixty percent of all children were sorted into Slytherin.

But before Sirius had enough time to think about it, Dumbledore stood up. All the talks in the Great Hall immediately stopped. All eyes turned to the Headmaster.

"Welcome to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Dumbledore began, smiling. "As always I remind you that the Forbidden Forest is still forbidden" at that he looked directly at Sirius and his friends. Remus had enough tact to look embarrassed. "And therefore I highly recommend you not to go near it without a teacher or an adult."

He fell silent for a moment, giving everyone time to get everything he said.

"The screening test for Quidditch teams will take place two weeks from now, for exact information you should contact the Captain of your House team" At that James looked so smug that even Sirius couldn't resist to roll his eyes. James polished his Quidditch Captain Badge almost every day during summer holidays.

"Also, I'd like to introduce to you our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!" Dumbledore said, grinning and pointing to the young woman next to McGonagall. Everyone's eyes turned to her and she stood up and nodded, small smile on her face. "Professor Jane Depp!"

Everyone applauded, not too loud but enough to be polite. Professor Depp sat down, still smiling.

"Considering our sad history with DADA teachers for the last five years" Dumbledore said, smirking in his beard "Professor Depp has much more work to do for you, so I expect all of you to treat her with same respect I do"

He fell silent again but this time something showed on his face, some deep emotion, but it lasted for a second before it was gone. At that moment Surius caught Depp's eye with so much tenderness on her face that was directed at him, that he was taken aback.

Dumbledore looked round the Great Hall above his half-mooned glasses.

"Now… let the feast begin!"

It was… amazing. Wonderful. Fabulous. Splendid. Any adjective she could think of couldn't quite describe the feeling she experienced when she saw them. It was like a gulp of new life – new hopes, new dreams, new wishes. For the first time since she couldn't even remember when, Hermione felt almost… at home.

She watched them from that so unusual to her place she now took at the teachers' table. James Potter, so very much alike his son, only he wore square glasses, not round like Harry's. Same height, same black unruly hair. He could almost be Harry if not for the absence of the scar on his forehead and the eye color. And his face had sharper features than Harry's.

Lily Evans, not even suspecting yet that she was soon to be Potter. She wasn't exactly beautiful, objectively speaking, but there was certainly something about her, some noble beauty, that caught one's eye. She had pleasant features, long dark red hair and striking green eyes Hermione was so used to seeing on Harry. Every three minutes, though, Lily almost unnoticeably turned her head around to glance at James. Hermione smiled faintly. At least, this was not as hopeless as Harry had told her after watching the scene in Snape's Pensieve.

Sirius Black was tall and really handsome and he was obviously very well aware of that. He seemed to radiate those waves of self-confidence around him, and the giggling blushing girls who kept staring at him from under the brows only added to his already not-so-small ego. He had that gracefulness around him that only aristocrats had and it made him pleasant to look at. Black wavy hair, not quite reaching his shoulders, dark blue eyes, straight nose. It was hard to think of this young handsome Sirius as of the battered spiteful man she used to know, who had gone to hell and came back.

Remus Lupin was as tall as Sirius but lankier, and even at the age of seventeen he had a weary look on him, as if he hadn't slept for a long time. But as for the rest he looked much, much better. His hair didn't have grey in it and looked golden-brown. Same kind, goldish eyes she remembered, along with their clever intensive look. He looked calm and peaceful, however, she could sense some mischief in him. Well, he wasn't called a Marauder for nothing, after all.

Hermione looked at the last one of the four. Peter Pettigrew. Short and skinny boy, who, as Harry once told her, used to hide behind the backs of his best friends. This Peter, however, was more confident, at least he seemed so to Hermione. She wondered whether he had already joined the Death Eaters, and judging by his frequent looks to the Slytherines, he might have.

She smiled when Dumbledore called her name – her made up name – and greeted the crowd. Well, this was it, and there was no going back now.

She sat down.

She will do it as well as she bloody could.

Hermione looked at the four again and, accidently, she caught Sirius's eye.

And for a moment she could hardly breathe.

**So what do you all think? Please, tell me, I'm craving your reviews, guy! Seriously. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going on with the story!**


	4. Revelations

**Chapter 4.**

Revelations. 

**My note:**Thanks to all of you guys who reviewed! You have no idea how mush reviews mean to author unless you are a one yourself. If you are, then you should understand me more than anyone else and give me one :D Seriously, thank you! I'm very encouraged to write more, now that I've received such positive responses. You guys rock! Keep going that way!

**My other note:** I'd like to warn you that this fanfi is going to be a bit dark and have strong language. Therefore I'm now changing the rating to M just to be safe and for the use of F-words several times. Also, no fluff in this story, sorry. And no Mary-Sue Hermione, either (at least I hope so, lol)

**My other other note:** **Lex Waltz**, I would love you to be my beta! :D Sorry, but I had to post it this way since your Private messaging function is disabled.. please, write me back :D

**Bom Bam Bim Boom.**

"Well, what do you think?" James asked Sirius as they were waiting at the door of the classroom where their first DADA lesson was about to begin. Few Gryffindors managed to make it to the NEWT level DADA lessons, even less Slytherines did, one Hufflepuff (Gilderoy Lockhart, Remus noticed with great surprise), though almost the whole course of Ravenclow. Remus glanced at Peter who was leaning against the wall, bored. Frankly speaking, it was immense surprise for all of them when Peter made it to the NEWT level class. Although, he did try his best…

"About what?"

"About a life's point, you dickhead!" James rolled his eyes. "About the upcoming lesson, what else?"

"Well, I don't really know about the lesson, but that Depp professor might teach me something new, that's for certain…" Sirius said, smirking widely. Peter laughed.

"Don't you think she's a little bit old for you?" Remus questioned him with mock concern.

"Old? Puh-please! We are not talking about McGonagall, are we? This Depp is about twenty that's three-four years older than me! Not a big deal!"

"So you already decided that she'll be having an affair with you just because she's almost your age?" Remus said dubiously.

"Moony, my dear friend, you know that none of them can resist my charms, no matter how old they are!" Sirius laughed, throwing an arm over Remus' shoulders. "I could get McGonagall herself to sleep with me if I wanted!"

"I highly doubt you are her type, Mr. Black" A new voice said and everyone turned around to see professor Depp approaching the door and lifting protection spells from it. Sirius' brows got so high they almost disappeared behind his fringe; he smirked at them then, winking. James and Remus exchanged looks.

"Class, come in!" Professor Depp commanded, on opening the door. She entered the classroom and went to sit at the teacher's desk. Everyone began to sit down, Remus with Peter, James with Sirius.

"How did she know my name?" Remus heard Sirius whisper to James but before James could answer, professor said:

"No, no, that won't do, I can't afford you two to sit together. Mr. Black, you go sit with Mr. Lockhart, Miss Evans, you take the seat with Mr. Potter."

She didn't sound spiteful or haughty, but something in her voice made Sirius do as she said without arguing. Remus looked at James who didn't seem to mind professor's choice very much. As Lily approached he held a chair for her in a very gentleman-like manner. Remus snorted quietly.

When everyone finally sat down, Depp looked them over and began a speech.

"For those of you who had already forgot, my name is Jane Depp. I don't know all of your names yet, so when I will ask you – say your name before answering." She sighed, as if trying to remember something, before continuing. "I examined the reports of your previous progress, and to say the least, I was shocked. But I can't blame you, really. All the teachers you have had didn't have beneficial effect on your studies. I believe, you missed a lot of what you were supposed to learn and all of that you missed I am to teach you, so you're warned: this year will be hard for you because you are to learn not only the program of the 7th year but all of the missed courses, beginning from the 3rd. And I expect every one of you to do your best."

She said the last line in a kind of voice that somehow sent shivers down Remus' spine. He looked around – everybody, even Slytherines seemed to be enchanted by what Depp was saying. Maybe it was her tone, maybe something in her face or in her whole manner – Remus wasn't sure, but she seemed to have caught people's attention.

"Here comes the lecture about damned NEWT" Peter whispered in Remus's ear.

"Now I'm not going to lecture you about exams" Depp said, as if having heard Peter's words. "All in all, they don't matter at all." At the surprised looks she got at that, she continued. "I believe other professors won't be too glad I'm telling you this, but you're adults now" she said sharply. "Most of you will turn eighteen this year. So I'll tell you as it is: the war against Voldemort is going on. I highly doubt that anyone of you will be able to avoid it."

At these words a collective gasp ran over the classroom. Remus, along with everybody else, stared at the new teacher who had just called Him-who-must-not-be-named by his name. That was something no one expected to hear.

"Yes, I called him that. From now on you will hear this name a lot, so deal with it." She said a bit harshly. "It's just a name. Fear of a name only increases the fear of one who wears it. And behind all of that scary Lord Voldemort name, hides a simple half-blood called Tom Riddle." She fell silent, letting them understand everything she was saying. "Now, as I was saying, Voldemort is gaining power and I believe you all will be summoned for war as soon as you graduate. So" she said insinuatingly. "If you are not prepared, believe me, you won't last long outside of school. You can forget about the exam, the real thing you need to worry about is whether you are ready to step in real life, where nobody will help you if you happen to meet a Death Eater, where the Headmaster or McGonagall or any other teacher won't be able to come and save your day. That is what you need to think about. Therefore, I'm telling you that I will not force anyone to learn. It's your own choice. But I will do my best to teach those of you who want to learn."

She finished and again, shivers ran down Remus's spine and hair on his arms stood up with goose bumps. The students were seemingly impressed by the new professor's speech, and Remus himself was, too, to be frank. Some tension after her words was almost tangible in the room. Everyone was silent for some time before Professor Depp asked: "Any questions?"

For a moment there was nobody willing to ask her anything, and then Anna Miller from Slytherin, a girl with seemingly only half brain, raised a hand. Professor Depp raised her eyebrows at her: "Yes, Miss…?"

"Miller. Anna Miller." She hesitated. "Umm. How old are you?"

Even from another side of the room Remus could hear Sirius moan and mutter "What a moron! You don't want to ask a woman her age…"

Depp smirked almost unnoticeably, then, deadly serious, she said: "I'm old. Very old. You can't even imagine"

That seemed to have lifted the tension and everybody relaxed a bit.

"Now I'm going to ask you some questions to define the level of your grounding. Don't forget to say your names." With that she took a parchment with something written on it and began to read the questions aloud.

"Name three the most dangerous types of creatures of the A category"

Remus and Lily raised their hands. Professor looked over and said "Anyone _but_ Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans?"

Snape slowly raised his hand. Depp pointed at him: "Yes, Mr. Snape?"

Snape quirked his eyebrows, seemingly surprised at Depp's awareness of his name. Nevertheless, his voice was firm: "Vampires, Werewolves and Giants."

"Very well, Mr. Snape, five points to Slytherin."

That seemed to have lowered Depp in Sirius's eyes. He looked at Snape with venom on his face and so much hatred that Remus gulped involuntary. He didn't suspect Sirius hated Snape _that_ much.

"Next question: how do you tell the difference between the werewolf and animagus?" She didn't look at Remus while asking the question but she did glance at him with some odd emotion in her eyes that made Remus frown. He didn't raise his hand. Sirius and James did, though.

"Mr. Potter?"

James's answer was perfect, but Remus didn't expect any less from him, considering he was befriending a werewolf and an animagus himself. Depp gave Gryffindor five points.

"What is a Boggart?"

She asked Lily and it got Gryffindor another five points. The questions continued, slowly becoming more difficult and after each question people were getting less tense. Though, there were less and less hands, either. If no one answered Depp wrote something on her parchment with questions.

"What are the three Unforgivable curses?"

Remus, Lily and more than the half Slytherines raised their hands. Malfoy was asked and for his perfect answer Slytherin was given five more points.

"What are the nonverbal spells?"

The questions went on and on and in twenty minutes Remus found himself unable to answer them. After he and Lily stopped raising hands professor Depp finished her questioning.

"Alright, then" she sighed, putting her parchment away. "Now I remember when my favorite teacher first gave us a lesson he started with Boggarts. I was in my third year, though" she hemmed "But, nevertheless. So will we today. Quills out – we will write down the definition of a Boggart and learn a spell against him"

Even though Remus knew perfectly well everything one needs to know about Boggarts, he did as was told. With incredibility he watched the others who haven't even bothered to look up what a Boggart was since their third year. Well, they surely will have to work harder than Remus this year.

After they wrote down everything concerning Boggarts Depp stood up and walked towards the wardrobe Remus hadn't even noticed before. She came to it and said loudly. "Luckily enough yesterday Mr. Filch was happy to provide me with a Boggart just for our lesson. Now everyone, please, stand and queue up – we'll practice our defense against a one." There was noise of everyone getting out of their desks and making a line. Remus found himself the fifth – behind two girls from Gryffindor, and two boys from Slytherin. They all seemed a bit nervous to face their most dreadful fears. Remus hoped his worry didn't show, after all, somebody could easily guess that the white ball that appeared as he met a Boggart was nothing but a Moon and then they will put two and two and then everyone will find out what he actually is –

"Mate, calm down" He heard Sirius whisper in his ear behind him. "You're making a big deal out of nothing. No one will know anything, don't worry"

He's right, Remus thought. Everyone was too engrossed in the preparation for their own meeting with Boggart; he was making a fuss, indeed. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Everything will be alright, it's just a Boggart. They were supposed to learn them in their 3rd year.

"Now let's begin! I will open the door and the one who is first in line will fight his Boggart. When he's done he'll go to the end of the line. Next one will do the same. Unfortunately, we don't have enough time left for everyone to defeat their Boggart so I'll tell you when the time is gone."

She tapped her wand on the handle and, creaking, it opened.

The first Slytherin was apparently afraid of his father because a man Boggart turned into looked very much alike him. The second Slytherin's great fear was, to everyone's amusement, a snake. Blushing furiously, the poor guy said the spell and hurried to the end of the line. Margaret, a girl from Gryffindor, was apparently afraid of the darkness, judging be her sudden shouts and please to turn on the lights. Alice, Lily's best friend was afraid of physical pain. Writhing with imagined pain, she finally managed to fight off the Boggart.

It was Remus's turn and just as he had expected, his Boggart took form of a moon. From behind his back he heard Snape made a strange sound. "Come on, Moony" He heard Sirius say in his ear so he raised his wand and clearly said: _Ridiculous!_

The Boggart disappeared for a moment before Sirius stepped forward and it appeared to be something only Sirius could understand. Remus had never seen an expression like that on Sirius's face – one of pure fear. He wondered if he, too, looked terrified like that. Probably. But what was it that scared Sirius so much?

"Ridiculous!" Sirius shouted and stepped away from the line, panting.

"You alright, mate?" Remus asked him, concerned, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. He hoped that maybe Sirius will confide in him enough to tell him what exactly was his Boggart.

"Yup" Sirius said, his expression back to normal. "Never better." And with that he walked away from Remus to the end of the line. Remus sighed and followed him.

Three more people had time to fight their Boggarts before professor announced that time was over. She stepped in front of the Boggart to force him back into the wardrobe but it suddenly transformed into James.

"What the –" James began but was outvoiced by the Boggart.

"It's all your fault" Boggart-James said, his expression one of pure disappointment and contempt. Remus immediately noticed the voice was not exactly James's. Looking closer he found out that the Boggart-person was not James at all, it was a man who looked surprisingly like him. He had softer features, his eyes were emerald green, not brown, and there was a lightning-like scare on his forehead. Besides, his glasses were round, not square. And he looked older than James, there was something… almost wise about him.

"You fucked up so much" the Boggart spat disdainfully. "I'm so disappointed in you. I thought you were smart, I thought you weren't such a wimp"

Professor Depp froze, wand in hand, her eyes wide. She seemed enchanted and terrified at what the man was saying.

"You screwed everything. It's only your fault everything turned out as it had. You destroyed everything we all held so dear. And remember Neville and Luna? If not for you, they'd be still alive. _You_ killed them. _You killed __**me**_"

"_Ridiculous_!" Depp roared, apparently having snapped out of stupor. She was very pale and looked like she was about to be sick. She shook her head and exhaled slowly. Almost a minute past in complete silence, everyone exchanging curious looks. Then Depp spoke again.

"Now on to the home assignment." She said as if the entire incident has not just happened. Sirius and James moaned in unison. "I expect you to write an essay about the levels of the Protection spells, to write a classification of the Magical Creatures of the categories A, B and C and to write a report on the topic of protection from the Unforgivable curses. The last one is the most important so it's in your interest to take the task seriously."

"But, professor!" Sirius exclaimed mournfully, "our next lesson is on the day after tomorrow!"

"Then I advice you not to postpone it and do everything as soon as you can" Depp retorted, crossing her hands on her chest. "As I said, it's in your own interest to be able to defend yourself"

Snape snorted at that and Sirius clenched his fists, but, fortunately, didn't begin a fight.

"Class is over" Depp announced again and everybody began to leave the room.

As soon as all the four friends were outside Sirius moaned again, throwing up his hands.

"An essay, a classification and a report! What the hell! Is she a bloody sadist?"

"Seriously, mate, didn't you get anything of what she said at all?" James asked, with surprisingly serious expression. Sirius turned to look at him, frowning. "If we are not prepared enough, we won't last long!"

Remus raised his eyebrows involuntary. When did James grow up enough to understand it, he wondered with some pride for his friend.

"Well, still" Sirius mumbled just for the sake of saying something. Remus shrugged.

"What do we have next, anyway?" Peter spoke.

"Potions" Remus replied without thinking.

"Great! I'm going to the common room then!" Peter said with glee and fled away. He didn't make it to the Potions which meant he couldn't be an Auror, since they needed Potions NEWT results. But Peter didn't seem very disappointed. Oh well, it was his business.

"So, you liked her, I take it?" He asked James.

"Well…" his friend hesitated, "I can't say that. She kind of… scares me."

"Scares you?" Sirius repeated quietly.

"Yeah. Have you seen her eyes? And the way she talked? She's like, you know… it is all very noticeable that she's been through a lot."

"So what?" Sirius said.

"Well, she is just like a walking talking reminder of what it is like outside of here! Of what it is like to lose something you care for! Have you heard what her Boggart said?"

"What are you saying, exactly?" Remus said, though he already had a very good idea of what James was implying at. And he didn't like it for some reason.

"I'm saying that I don't want to think about it! I don't want to be reminded of what awaits us as soon as we are out of here! I don't want to deal with it! I don't want to be like her – all depressed and… broken!" James finally said what exactly bothered him. Remus stared at him, for some reason it was highly unpleasant to hear it from James.

"Well, maybe it's high time you grew fucking up already!" He suddenly exploded, yelling at his friends. Sirius and James both looked at him, gobsmacked. Remus rarely used language like that. "Maybe you finally stop being an arrogant prat and look further your own nose! The war _is_ going on! You can't stay forever in your little safe world without having any affect from it! So maybe you'll snap out of your world and shrink down your ego that has covered the sun and realize that people _do_ die at war and do lose other people!"

He finished, panting heavily, having gone against his friend like that for the very first time. James was looking at him with his eyes wide-open and Sirius had a stony expression on his face, his eyes narrowed. Remus swallowed past the bile in his mouth, then turned around and hurried to the Potions class, leaving his friends behind.

**Boom Boom Boom**

He was already sitting on their usual place when his two friends entered the room, still looking bewildered. He avoided looking at them, already feeling sorry for what'd he said to James all that. He shouldn't have yelled. He shouldn't have said it all in such a tone. He should've talked to James instead when they were alone –

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Uncertainly, he looked up to find James looking at him firmly.

"James, listen, I'm sorry –"

"It's fine, Remus, really." James said quietly. "You were right."

Remus closed his mouth with a loud clap. James smiled sadly at him, shaking his head.

"I do need to stop being an arrogant prat and look around me to see what's happening in the world" He snorted. "Besides, Evans is more likely to go out with me if I cease my fucking haughtiness"

Remus smiled at him, relieved to hear that. James did grow up, after all. He turned to look at Sirius, and his smile fell. His other friend still seemed to be deeply offended. He avoided looking at Remus at all costs, even choosing another place to sit, away from him.

He sighed. It seemed to be Sirius who needed some growing up. But as he opened his mouth to say something, Slughorn entered the classroom.

"Hello class!" He smiled good-naturedly. "Today we'll be working on the potion which is always compared to Felix Felicis. It's called Fiducia. Who knows what it does? Yes, Miss Evans?" He pointed at Lily Evans with fondness.

"It helps a person to grow some self-confidence to do things he wouldn't normally do in usual circumstances. But unlike Felix Felicis it doesn't give you luck to do those things, just confidence"

"I bet Snivellus would give anything to have confidence and grow some balls finally, after all, it's becoming hard to tell whether it's a boy or a girl anymore." Sirius said loud enough for everyone to hear. The class laughed. Remus looked at Snape who sat two sits behind them, glaring at Sirius murderously, his face red.

"Oh, he's so much better than a girl" Some Ravenclow guy said, laughing along with everybody, but Slughorn only looked down at them indulgently. "Now, now, class, pay attention."

"What about Lupin, huh?" Snape hissed, almost trembling with rage and hatred and Remus turned around sharply on hearing his own name. "_I_ bet he does need balls more than anyone since he can't even stand up to you, scum, without running around licking your feet after that" He sneered and Remus found himself blushing furiously. But Snape wasn't done yet. "Or does he need to wait until Full moon to finally represent himself as something?"

Remus felt all his blood rush from his face in a matter of a second. He looked around wildly, afraid to see people's faces, afraid everyone has understood, after a hind so _subtle_ like that. But to his immense relief everyone seemed confused and nothing more, looking at Snape with contempt.

As soon as the words left Snape's mouth he realized it was a very wrong thing to say. Sirius turned around to look at him, slowly, unlike his every movement, with narrowed eyes, his jaw tight.

"You little bastard, one more word about Remus Lupin, and I swear to God, I. Will. Kill. You."

This time it was said quietly, almost whispered, for no one but Snape to hear. And he did. Remus saw him struggle to say anything, but he kept his bloody mouth shut. Was it Sirius's threat or simple realization that no one will believe him, Remus didn't know, nor did he care. All he needed was for Snape to shut the hell up.

The rest of the lesson past without any events.

As the three friends left the room, Sirius turned and walked away alone.

He didn't speak to Remus for the rest of the day.

**Bom Bom Bom**

As a prefect Remus had a duty of walking around the castle after the retreat to make sure no one was wandering around the castle at night. It was rather hypocritic of him, actually, what with him and other Marauders sneaking under the Invisibility Cloak almost every other night. But that was earlier, before seventh year, before every one of them changed so much. Remus sighed. He missed those times so much it was almost painful sometimes.

He turned around the corner and suddenly heard a voice not far from him. Sighing at the prospect of interrupting some horny couple making out in the corridor at night, he headed their way.

Suddenly he heard a sound of someone punching another. There was a whine of pain and then a thump as the man probably fell to the ground.

"You will keep that fucking hole of yours you call mouth _shut_!" The awfully familiar voice hissed and Remus was stunned at the scene which opened to his sight. Snape was writhing on the floor, clutching his stomach while Sirius was standing over him, his back to Remus. None of them heard Remus behind.

"You will stay out of our business! You will never talk of Remus Lupin's problems _ever again_, you filthy little bitch!" Sirius was saying in a cold insinuating tone of voice Remus had never heard from him before.

"Get away from me, you freak! Scum!" Snape responded from the floor, making Sirius bend down and grab the collar of Snape's shirt, lifting him to his feet. Snape staggered and grabbed the wall.

"Shut the fuck up!" Sirius spat, punching Snape in the face. "Come on! Fight back for once you little bitch! We are alone here, come on, hit me!"

But Snape just stood there, leaning on the wall, breathing heavily and glaring a hole in Sirius.

"I'll kill you, I promise you, _I'll kill you!_" he hissed quietly, almost whispered but both Remus and Sirius heard. Sirius blew another punch to Snape's face. Snape spat blood on the floor.

"_Don't touch me_!" he screamed, his voice trembling, and looking closer Remus saw tears of rage, humiliation and hatred running down his cheeks.

"Oh believe me I have no desire to." Sirius said, wrinkling hi nose. "I won't ever get clean of your shit again"

"_I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you, you fucking bastard…_" Snape was saying again like mantra, unable to do anything else. Sirius must have gotten his wand beforehand…

Remus turned around sharply, feeling sick. The incident by the lake almost two years ago now seemed a light joke, innocent and childish. This… this was… he couldn't even find proper words to describe it.

He'd heard enough. And what he heard was seemingly going to stick forever in his memory, making it impossible for him to look at Sirius with the same look again.

Quickly, he ran back towards the Gryffindor common room.

He threw up just as he entered the bathroom.

**A/N: ****Please, please, PLEASE with a cherry on top, let me know what you all think!**


End file.
